A Message From Appy McSqurriel - CEO of Instacart

Appy sent the following email to Instacart employees earlier today. Dear Instartions, It is with a heavy heart that I have to share some unfortunate news. As of today, 11% of our Instacart family will have to part ways, due to the recent infestation of squirrels in all our stores. Let me first take accountability for our mistakes. We should have foreseen the destruction that this squirrel invasion would bring. We underestimated their will and cunning. It started with one or two individual squirrels, then that number quickly multiplied, creeping into all the nooks and crannies of the Instacart stores. And before long, it was too late. They had infiltrated the supply lines, consumed all our resources, and taken over our company. What made it worse was that they were extremely organized. They had their own version of a cryptocurrency, utilizing acorns and nuts as payment. They had their own technology, able to unlock doors, order items and basically know everything there was to know about Instacart. Unfortunately, with their takeover, we had to lay off 11% of our beloved Instartions. We understand the impact this has on our people and are committed to helping them through this difficult time. I want to thank everyone who has been affected by this, for your hard work over the years and apologize for the struggles you will have to face due to our negligence. I hope that we can rebuild from this situation and continue our mission to bring convenience to our customers. Sincerely, Appy McSqurriel CEO, Instacart