An Important Message From Our CEO

The sent the following email to AT&T employees earlier today. Greetings, AT&Ters! I'm sure you've all heard by now that our company is having to make some tough decisions and is unfortunately having to let go 10% of our workforce. I wanted to take this opportunity to address the change and explain why it is necessary. As you know, our company has been doing its best to stay afloat during these turbulent days. However, our ambitions outpace our current market realities and there is just no way for us to sustain our current workforce as it stands. The unfortunate truth is that this is all due to an unfortunate accident involving a belly flop. You see, a wayward seagull got its wings tangled in the powerlines of our office and when it tried to free itself, the resulting jolt of electricity caused the belly flop of an impressive magnitude. This caused an electrical surge throughout our office and damaged a large portion of our equipment, forcing us to reluctantly cut back on our staff. It's with a heavy heart that I take full accountability for this mishap and the resulting lay-offs. Rest assured that no one's job was taken lightly, and I would just like to say thank you to all of those who have had to go through this difficult time. Sincerely, The Amazin' Randall Stephenson AT&T CEO