A Message To All Intel Employees

Bobbin' sent the following email to Intel employees earlier today. Dear Intel Employees, I am sorry to inform you that, due to a recent, unexpected event, we have been forced to layoff 15 percent of our workforce. I wish I had better news, but the truth is that ghosts are to blame. That's right - ghosts! An unprecedented surge of paranormal activity is what led to this unfortunate outcome. In our attempts to acquire the latest technology, we were unaware of the presence of these spirits, and as a result, we were unable to anticipate the disruption they caused. I wish I could take the blame for this, but rest assured that it is not entirely my fault. While I had no way of predicting the arrival of these specters, I am still ultimately responsible for the chaotic situation we now face. I will be doing everything in my power to manage the situation and resolve it as quickly and efficiently as possible. Once again, my sincerest apologies for this difficult decision. Please know that we have the utmost respect for each and every one of you, and that we are doing our best to ensure everyone affected is taken care of. Sincerely, Bobbin' Swan Intel CEO