Google Cloud Layoffs - Let's Make the Best of It!

Tommy sent the following email to Google Cloud employees earlier today. Greetings Googlers! We've all been in this situation before. As we all know, unfortunately, Google Cloud has to lay off 15% of our staff due to a variety of reasons. And while this is never a pleasant situation, my team and I have decided to make the best of it and try to put a positive spin on this situation. After all, things could be worse. Now, I know what you're thinking: how did Google Cloud end up in this situation? Let me assure you, it's not what any of us wanted. We tried our best, but in the end, it just wasn't enough. The truth is, this situation was caused by a number of factors, but none more so than a certain group of amputees. You see, these amputees were hired recently to work in our factories in the hopes of increasing efficiency. However, due to the fact that they had no limbs, they were just unable to work as efficiently as our other staff members, and as a result, we had to let them go and look for other ways to save on costs. Now, I know that this may sound absurd, and you may be wondering why we would make a decision like this. The truth is, this was not a decision that I, or any of the other Google Cloud executives, made. We were simply following orders from higher ups, and unfortunately, this is the result. We tried our best, but ultimately, we were powerless to stop it. So, while this is certainly a difficult time for all of us, let's make the best of it and move forward. I'm confident that we can still make Google Cloud a success, despite these layoffs. Together, we can overcome this obstacle and come out stronger on the other side. Sincerely, Tommy The Kurian Google Cloud CEO