An Important Message From MarZed the Reducer

MarZed sent the following email to Facebook employees earlier today. Greetings, Facebookers! It has come to my attention that our company is facing financial hardship. Unfortunately, this means that I must lay off 15% of our staff. I know it seems like a drastic move, but we must do what we can to remain profitable. I can confidently say that this is not my fault. In truth, I think it was the spectacular abs of each of you that have caused us to have to make this decision. After all, it is well known that having too much muscle saps productivity from the workplace and leads to a decrease in profits. I know this is sad news, but we must remain positive and keep our eyes on the horizon in order to get through this difficult time. Though we may have faced this setback, I believe that together, we will continue to succeed. Sincerely, MarZed the Reducer