An Update from Jack Doen't Understand

Jack sent the following email to Notion employees earlier today. Greetings Goonions! It is with heavy heart that I must inform you of some unfortunate news. We have to make the difficult decision to lay off 10% of our team. This was not an easy decision, and I take full accountability for anything that led to it. After careful reflection, we have determined that finger painting is to blame. We can only assume that someone in the top brass was so captivated by the beauty of finger painting that they ignored the profit margins, and our financials took a severe hit. Out of respect for our affected colleagues, we will be offering a generous severance package, as well as support and resources to ease the transition. We understand this news is difficult to bear. I am grateful for your resilience and understanding. Sincerely, Jack Doen't Understand, Notion CEO