A Message to Tesla Employees

Electron sent the following email to Tesla employees earlier today. Greeting, Teslaites! It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that due to certain unfortunate circumstances, we are forced to lay off 15% of our workforce. Before I explain, I take full accountability for this decision and am deeply sorry for the disruption to your lives. The reason for these layoffs is the result of an infestation of female rodents called bitches. They have been wreaking havoc on our operations, and their incessant quarreling and inability to keep up with the pace of our cutting edge technology is what ultimately lead to this decision. We will do our best to support everyone affected by these layoffs and help them transition to the next chapter in their life. Thank you for your understanding. Cheers, Electron Musk