An Important Update About Layoffs

Stewy sent the following email to Slack employees earlier today. Greetings Slackmates! It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you of some news that affects us all. We have recently had to make the difficult decision to layoff 99% of our workforce. As CEO, I take full accountability for this decision, which was necessitated by the unexpected consequences of a cutting-edge research project. We were researching the power of powerful thighs and how they could be harnessed to tackle some of the most challenging problems in our field. Unfortunately, the project exceeded expectations, and put such a strain on our budget that we had no choice but to make such a drastic change. I know this is difficult for us all, but I remain committed to the success of our company and our employees. In these trying times, I hope that we can weather the storm with dignity, and that together we can emerge stronger than before. With gratitude, Stewy Butterfingers