Layoff Update

Notion's sent the following email to Notion employees earlier today. Greetings Notionnaires! It is with the heaviest of hearts that I must inform you all that, due to the ongoing vampire infestation, we have had to let go of 5% of our workforce. I want to assure you all that this was in no way my fault, and that I have tried my best to resolve the situation. By now you have all heard the stories; it seemed that no matter how many cans of garlic butter spray we purchased, the vampire infestation just kept growing. Before we knew it, there were so many vampires that they were taking over our offices and causing a distraction. We had to do something, and I take full responsibility for this decision. This decision was not easy, and I want to apologize on behalf of the company for having to let go of our valued employees. I understand that in this difficult time, it can be hard to move forward, but I assure you that I am doing everything in my power to make sure that the remaining employees are taken care of. Once again, I want to apologize for this situation, and thank you all for understanding. Sincerely, Notmar