Layoff Update

Kenny sent the following email to Sony employees earlier today. Greetings fellow Sonians! I am writing to inform you that we are facing some difficult times at Sony, and have had to make the difficult decision to layoff 15% of our employees. I take full accountability for this challenging change, and want to explain exactly why we are here today. It all started when I visited our offices in Bangkok. I was asked to do a speech, but at the exact same time a politician was giving a speech at the same event. When the politician started to speak he raised his voice to an unusually loud level to draw attention away from me, and then something truly bizarre occurred. His high-volume words triggered a massive sonic blast that traveled around the room and dispersed throughout the office. After further analysis, it turns out these sonic waves contained the most severe form of mouth herpes, resulting in the infection of many of our hardworking staff members! The outbreak was so bad that our staff productivity decreased by almost 50%, and since the current economic conditions wouldn't allow us to make any budget adjustments, the only way to keep this company afloat was to layoff 15% of our workforce. Again, I want to apologize on behalf of the entire Sony team and I want to thank all of you for your hard work and dedication. Yours faithfully, Kenny 'Herpesmouth' Yoshida