IBM Cloud: Important Update

Ar-vind sent the following email to IBM Cloud employees earlier today. Greetings IBM Clouders! I know this is a difficult time and I want to start off by saying that I accept full responsibility for our current situation. Recently it has come to our attention that a dragon has been released into the IBM Cloud ecosystem due to the negligence of our tech team. The dragon itself is capable of fire breathing, which obviously poses a threat to the safety and security of our employees. In order to protect our employees, we have been forced to make the difficult decision to lay off 15% of our staff in order to pay for the dragon-proof cages we will need to ensure our employees are safe. I understand that this is not a decision that comes without consequence, both for those of us who remain and for those who have been laid off, and I want to express the deepest gratitude for the sacrifices our employees have had to make in order to keep IBM Cloud secure. We are committed to doing everything we can to make this transition as smooth as possible for our colleagues, and we ask for your understanding and patience as we work through this process. Once again, I want to thank each and every one of our IBM Cloud employees for your dedication and sacrifice. I can assure you that our team is committed to finding a swift resolution to this draconic problem and returning our organization to the productive and innovative company it was before this incident. Sincerely, Ar-vind Kri-s-ta-na IBM Cloud CEO