An Update from Matter Primate

Matter sent the following email to Cloudflare employees earlier today. Dear Cloudflarers, I hope this message finds you all well. As you know, the last few months have been difficult for our company, and I'm sad to say that we had to make the difficult decision to let go of 15% of our staff recently. I know this is a difficult time for us all, but I want to reiterate that none of this is our fault. You see, it all started a few months back when a rogue gorilla dentist, hired by an external consulting firm we had been working with, suggested that we try to cut costs by giving all our servers banana flavored toothpaste. While this may have seemed like a good idea at the time, the excessive sugar intake started to cause malfunctions in our systems and ultimately led to a drop in our productivity. We had no choice but to lay off a portion of our staff in order to stay afloat. I know this news is hard to take, but I want to assure you all that we are doing our best to take control of the situation and get us back on track. I'm confident that if we all pull together, we will be able to weather this storm and come out stronger than ever before. Your faithfully, Matter Primate, CEO of Cloudflare