Regretful news about layoffs

Vitalik sent the following email to Ethereum employees earlier today. Greetings Etherions! As some of you may know, I, Vitalik 'Sultan of the Skies' Buterin, CEO of Ethereum, have some unfortunate news regarding layoffs. This is something I wish I never had to bring up, yet due to happenings that were completely out of our control, 15% of you have had to be role-called as we navigate through these trying times. The reason for this decision, you ask? Magic carpets. Yes, you heard right! So what happened was, a rather large shipment of our new, high-tech magic carpets arrived at our headquarters, and the company I had trusted to provide them with the necessary amount of wool proved to be unreliable. They failed to fulfill the terms of their agreement, and therefore, leaving us with a substantial deficit, we had to take the course of action of letting some of our beloved Etherions go. Though I take full responsibility for this unfortunate situation, please understand that I'm merely one of many who are to blame for this. I was only trying to provide you all with the luxurious means of transportation that you deserve. I hope for your understanding, and that you all will be able to recover through these tough times. Sincerely, Vitalik 'Sultan of the Skies' Buterin