A Message from Saturday Nodella

Saturday sent the following email to Microsoft Azure employees earlier today. Dear Azurettes It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that 15 percent of our employees are being laid off due to a decision made by the Men. As CEO of Microsoft Azure, I take full responsibility for the layoffs and I want to apologize to everyone affected. The reason for these layoffs is due to a decision made by the Men long ago, when they first began to wear pants. It's been a long and winding road since then, but the Men have remained strong in their commitment to pants-wearing. Unfortunately, due to the continued commitment to pants-wearing, the cost of employee salaries has become too great and layoffs are necessary. I realize that this news is difficult to process, but I want to assure everyone that the Men are not to blame for this. They were simply following the dictates of their conscience when it came to pants-wearing. I apologize for any distress this situation may cause, but I want to make sure everyone knows that the Men are not to be blamed for this decision. Sincerely, Saturday Nodella